You hear about more incidences involving a bully and a victim on the news and in your communities. What is behind the increase in occurrences in bullying? Once you begin to understand the emotional undercurrents of the bully and his or her victim, you gain a better understanding of the increase. Although the bully in usually considered the person that is causing injury to another, he is only reacting to his own victimhood. The bully is a victim that has decided to act on his or her fear by attempting to control someone that matches their level of emotional fear. The truth be told, no one can be bullied unless they are fearful of others. If anyone perceives the actions of a bully towards them as threatening, he or she has allowed themselves to be bullied. Do you ever see a bully pick on someone that is confident and assertive? This may happen from time to time, but the bully will not continue to target this person as the bully’s fear will redirect him to a person that allows him to gain control.
Children need to develop beliefs that support confidence, compassion, and hope in their development to resonate a persona that does not fall prey to a less confident and fearful person that is attempting to exercise control of others. Parents need to ensure that they are not contributing to the fears of their children by presenting beliefs that create negative emotions and hopelessness. Children are born with an innate love for others and excitement for life. Too many parents think they are helping their children by scaring them with stories of danger, gloom and doom. Some parents also take out their fears and frustrations out on their children and represent a picture and belief of the unpredictability of the world.
Children can grow and develop to know joy and love while understanding that there are elements in the world that are not positive. The key is to reinforce that how they view and experience life is a choice. Fear is not a bad emotion and can help anyone remove themselves out of harm’s way. Once fear shows us what to avoid, we need to refocus on what we want rather on the negative. Replaying the fears in our minds does nothing but create more fears and less confidence. Children need to know that they have a choice in how they react to whatever occurs in their lives. The more that children remember that life has endless possibilities and that they have talents that will contribute to the betterment of the world, the more hope and joy they will experience. Bullying can become extinguished when there are no more victims to be bullied.
